solitude as a crucial ingredient,
yet i am never be allowed to use it.
even defined, describes unhappy,
that’s not my state-
just being content in my own is what i seek.
a private place for thought to flow
unplugged, unbiased, untouched by all.
peaks inside of myself,
moments spent introverted
moments spent in revelation
where i am free to be undesired,
my own muse,
my own mistake
carefully unfolding my nights and days,
dreams and half thoughts,
feelings that have owned me,
emotions i have choked down, for the sake of
solitude, my missing ingredient.
peace of mind,
comfort in the state of being alone.
solitude, as the main ingredient.
I realize that most people have a great misunderstanding of introversion and extroversion, which is understandable, but very frustrating. This society forces you to be an extrovert, but the world isn’t set up to have so many extroverts. The world needs it’s introverts. It’s a shame more people don’t embrace, love, and support the introverts in their lives.
Tomorrow I’m going to hiking at an Illinois State Park I’ve never been to, I’m pretty excited because of all the rain we’ve had, tomorrow is supposed to be fairly “nice”, and there should be plenty of waterfalls caves to play around. Totally need this little minication, I was supposed to be at a major doctor’s appointment out of state this weekend, but plans change and this is probably going to be much more healing, at least for my soul. This semester is almost over, I’ve completed most of my final projects and committed to some exciting things for fall semester. This back to school venture hasn’t really gone as planned, but by the time I’m done I’ll have a Bachelor’s in Mortuary Science when I’d set out for an Associates, and I’ll just have to be certified and licensed in the states that I plan to work in. This morning I started the day by participating in a community service, volunteer project through school, thankfully they broke us down into smaller groups and we painted a yellow work room that was attached to a greenhouse. Very cool. I like volunteering and helping others, just for the sake of it. Just to help people. I don’t need to fill out any extra paperwork to bank hours and earn an reward, the reward is in the service. That’s yet another part of extroversion that I don’t like; you always have to be doing something for something, a means to an end. You can’t jut be.
I always like to think that I’m very unique in most ways, and I know the reality of things is that I’m not. I’m average at best, and when it comes to being an introvert, I LOVE THAT! I always feel like I’m connected to other introverts through, books, reading, writing, music, arts, being outside and away from it all, long road trips on scenic routes, start gazing, and laying out in open fields, or long hikes and walks in the middle of nowhere…do not burst my bubble! If you’re an introvert, you’re like this. Let me have that fantasy world, please. If you’re an introvert, I thought you might like the Ted Talks, by Susan Cain. It always helps me refocus and jump back into my comfort zone. Back into my little introvertist bubble (I think that’s a word?).
Also, here’s the Astronomy Picture of the Day, because who doesn’t like to look at the Astronomy Picture of the Day? If you’re an introvert, embrace it. If you love an introvert, support them. Let’s just be very quiet and listen to Howlin’ Wolf on vinyl for the rest of the night. xo.